Thursday, August 29, 2013

Week 42

“Everything needs a break.” – Toba Beta

OK – so as I’m getting closer to hitting the 52 weeks mark, I decided to take a break. A break from Facebook that is. Which might not seem like a big deal to a lot of people. But actually take a minute, stop & really think about how often you are on FB. I was on it often. Not updating my own posts, mind you…. Just simply seeing what my post-happy friends were updating/posting. And I realized that I was really affected by checking my FB page. It is how I started my day. 

All my friends realize that I don’t post often. I think there are things that you share on FB & things that you just simply don’t.  And I have tried not to judge those who post way more often than I would ever imagine to post ( that sounded kind of judgmental, didn’t it? How to rephrase? Well, let’s just keep going instead of rephrasing)…. But I’ve never been one to post daily/update daily. I never check in with where I am. I figure only those in my true inner circle need to know where I am at any given time. I am in advertising/marketing & I should embrace all social media offers – but I don’t honestly subscribe to all the beliefs. No one needs to know if I am at whole foods or at the gym or beach or really where in this world I am physically at every moment of the day. 

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy FB. I might actually fall into the FB stalker category. Because I use FB to just keep up with friends that I adore but do not live in close proximity to. And yes, I was checking in daily to see what everyone was up to etc etc.

But my FB-fast as I called it (which is odd because I’m not catholic & I’ve never fasted in my life – but I do grasp the concept) – my FB-fast was not as easy as one would think. Which proved my theory. It had a higher priority in my life than I wanted it to have. My month-free of FB will be complete on Sunday. I took the month of August off. (I need to vote for my niece’s school for the opportunity to win something or another that will benefit the school & of course ultimately my niece – in preschool of all things & I can’t vote until Sunday because I have stuck to my FB-free.)

It hasn't been easy. And I will confess that at the very beginning of the month – maybe day 2 or 3, a FB friend – a good friend from my past – mailed me a surprise package. I had no way of thanking her because return address was note included nor inquiring how she came about the surprise package except via FB. So – confession – I logged on to inbox her & thank her. That is all I did - scout's honor. And that was during the hard parts. The first 10 days of FB-free were the hardest. (maybe that’s what rehab is like – I hope to never experience that) It was hard but it was worth it.

I have spent nearly 30 days without reading my friend’s complaints,  aggravations, accomplishments &  joys. What is the trade-off? I sacrificed celebrating my friends’ joys to simply to get a firmer grasp on what I feel is important to have center stage in my own life.  To try & live my life of love, joy, acceptance.  You know – that age-old song – You’ve got to accentuate the positive. Eliminate the negative. Latch onto the affirmative. Don’t mess with Mister In-Between. Well I felt that FB was bordering on the negative & definitely fell into the Mister In-Between part for me. I wasn't accentuating the positive or latching onto the affirmative in my life - I was letting this technology get the better of me.

William Wordsworth said “Rest and be thankful.”  So I did & I am. I rested from FB. And as Toba Beta said – "everything needs a break" – I interpret that to even include FB. And I rested. And I am thankful. I am thankful for everyone in my life - whatever their role - FB only or more than. Positive or negative. I just want to learn from every experience. I don't want to stop growing. 

And I am thankful for my FB connections. Technology is a wonderful thing until it rules your life. And that’s all it was for me, this break – I just didn’t want it ruling my life & I felt like it was going there. I am thankful for my FB family. For those I can keep in contact with – more than just a Christmas card every December.  I am thankful there is a way to know what’s going on outside of my little realm.  And I’m thankful that I can recognize when it starts to get bigger than it should & it starts to take on more power than it should. 

I am rested & I am ready on Sept 1 to embrace it again without letting it get too big, take up too much room or take too forefront a position. I am ready to let it be a small part of my life - not start my every day or take over. Perspective.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Week 41

A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

I’m in my forties… not a big deal to me to admit. I actually think this is a pretty great decade – at least so far, it’s still early in for me but I’m hoping the rest of it turns out even better than the first couple of years – which would make this decade super fantastic.
And I’m a working girl (but not in a hooker kind of way) – I went to college, got my degree & joined the workforce at 22. I was one of the lucky ones to land a job right out of school doing exactly what I went to college to do. I actually accepted the job a few weeks before graduation. I know that is not how it is usually done. And I am grateful & know that I am blessed.
I like the field I chose – it’s interesting, it’s evolved / changed over the years. And even after 20 years I still want to learn even more about it. I love new ideas & seeing how others are incorporating them – are they effective? Are they not? Etc. (Of course I have thoughts of – oh, I didn’t realize a wine sommelier was a job. Or why did I not decide to be an interior designer.)
And even though I’ve been doing this for so long…. And even though I know that for the most part, I know what I’m doing…. And even though I know that the people I come in contact with enjoy working with me…. I sometimes still wonder if this is what I’m supposed to be doing. I sometimes still wonder do I really know this? 
And then yesterday something happened that took me by surprise & left me astounded.  I learned that someone in the same field. Someone I respect, admire & learn a lot from constantly. I learned that this person holds me in very high regard. That she learns from me constantly.
And that awakened in me a stranger. Someone I didn’t fully recognize was there – the me who for the past 20 years has been searching for the person I aspire to be. That person is slowly being revealed to others. I didn’t realize it. I know I still have a lot to learn – and I definitely don’t want to stop growing. But I’m grateful to know that I’m making a difference in this world of work I’m in. Even starting now to think that maybe this really is what I’m supposed to be doing.
I’m realizing that I’m blessed beyond measure. And that is a realization to keep at the forefront of my mind & at the ready for when the trying days come.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Week 40

"The key to success is to focus our conscious minds on things we desire, not things we fear." - Brian Tracy

Don't know who Brian Tracy is - but he nailed it with that one. And yes, I conquered a fear today. I have an innate fear - I actually call it being a responsible adult - of climbing on a ladder without someone to hold it. Not a step ladder - that I can handle. No problem - do it all the time. But a real ladder - taller than me. (Which actually isn't saying too terribly much since I'm only 5'2" but still - you get the picture.)

Well, I had to get on the roof - definitely not a want to but a have to situation. So today was the day, came home from work. Pulled out the huge, long "lean to" extension ladder. (I don't really call mine "extension" because it doesn't extend - it's one length: long, taller than my roof - so I just call mine the "lean to".) Leaned it against the porch roof, braced myself, said a quick prayer, wondered if I should have let my neighbor know I was climbing up there & to come check on me if she hadn't heard from me in an hour, dismissed that thought & had faith... focused on what I desired: To climb the ladder, get on the roof, check out what had to be checked out, get back on the ladder (that's the scariest part for me by the way) & climb down.  So I focused on that. The desired thing. Not the fear of falling or the fear of being stuck on the roof too terrified to take the step back to the ladder. But the desire. I put my consciousness (and my prayers) to work on that.

And yes, it was a success - obviously or I would not be sitting here typing the story.  So focusing my conscious mind on the things I desire & not on the fear is the way to go (that & prayers - those most definitely help).

I came out triumphant! And ever so happy about it.